Deep Dive

Checking In: A Real Talk About Men’s Mental Health

A note for Men’s Mental Health Month

There’s a line in a Foo Fighters song:

And maybe also to reach out. To check in. To stop pretending everything’s fine when it’s clearly not.

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. That’s not just a calendar tag. 

It’s a prompt — a nudge — to look inward and outward. Because too often, men get caught in silence. Or we tell ourselves we’ll handle it on our own.

And sometimes we do.

But sometimes, we don’t.

You Don’t Want to Get That Call

You know the one.

The friend who’d been pulling away. The one who’d been drinking more, texting less. 

You thought about checking in, but didn’t want to intrude. You figured they’d bounce back.

And then the news comes.

That quiet moment — when you wish you’d said something — is a weight you carry for a long time.

This isn’t about drama. It’s about reality. Men are less likely to seek help. More likely to die by suicide. 

More likely to say “I’m good” right up until they’re not.

The Myth of Managing Alone

If you’re struggling right now — or even just feeling off — you’re not the only one.

Loss of identity. Change in sexual health. Aging parents. Empty nests. Quiet distance between you and your partner. It builds. 

And men often absorb it in silence. We make jokes. We stay busy. We take pride in carrying the load.

But here’s the truth:

Managing isn’t the same as healing. Surviving isn’t the same as living.

You’re allowed to talk.

You’re allowed to ask for help.

You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to open up.

Even if nothing feels “bad enough” to justify it.

What Help Can Actually Look Like

It’s not always therapy (though it can be).

It might be:

• Talking honestly with a friend or partner

• Seeing your primary doctor and mentioning how you’ve been feeling

• Scheduling time with a coach who understands this life stage

• Reconnecting with people who matter

It might be stepping out of the quiet and saying something real.

Partners, spouses, and friends — sometimes your quiet question is the lifeline he needs.

And if you’re already in a good place?

This month is your reminder to check on the men around you. A short text. A phone call. A comment that says,

“I’ve been thinking about you — how’s your head and heart these days?”

You never know what that might open up.

If You’re in a Darker Spot

Let’s keep it simple:

Call or text 988 (U.S. and Canada) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

There are local and regional mental health services in most communities

Your primary care doc can be a first step

You’re allowed to talk — even if nothing feels “bad enough” to justify it

This isn’t about labels.

It’s about safety.

Staying here matters.

Before You Go

Ask yourself:

1. Who’s someone I’ve been meaning to check in on?

2. What would it take for me to ask for help if I needed it?

3. What’s one small thing I could do this week that makes life feel more connected — or more honest?

This month isn’t just about awareness. It’s about action. Even if that action is just a conversation.

You don’t have to fix everything.

But you’re not meant to carry it all alone either.